3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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