i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
