I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
