I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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