so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am mentally ready for anal.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
