i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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