"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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