Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
