I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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