P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
