One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
