The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
