I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
