Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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