dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
