What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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