yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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