And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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