Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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