I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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