Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
