If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
