I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
