How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
