why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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