great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
