Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
