You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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