There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
