That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
