Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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