He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
