Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
