I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
