my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
