Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
