My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
