Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
