In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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