Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
