I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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