you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
