And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
