Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
