What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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