listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
