he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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