I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
