She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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