There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
